2 Weeks!

Okay, so this could be the week. I vascilate between total excitement to complete ulcer inducing tension as I realize we are down to 2 weeks. 2 WEEKS! I could know who my daughter is in 2 weeks. I could throw up, I could dance, I should probably be committed. I have a constant conversation going on with God right now...only God seems rather quiet...I have a ton to do this week, and I am guessing I might not be too focused. I really want to just go away for a week and not think about it all. UGH!

I feel a little guilty continuing to ask for prayers...but keep um coming. Insanity is but a breath away!

THANK YOU

Several of you read my pity party yesterday and made a point to make me feel better. You know who you are, and I really couldn't survive this journey without you! This whole process has brought some amazing women into my life and I am proud to call you friends!

We are off to Preschool Graduation and a picnic...I will post some pics to the graduate later!

Thanks again for making me smile...(now just make my phone ring with THE call!)

The Waiting Blues

Wow...do I have a case of these today! I had been doing pretty good until I did a little math this am. (Yeah...I know, the results might be questionable, math was never my best subject). We are between 8 and 12 on the unofficial list. That would make us most likely between 16 and 22 on the real list. There are only 2 weeks left until the June 1st cut off. There are fabulous rumors running wild about huge batches of referrals coming and the Care Center taking in lots of kids to get them to their forever families before the courts close. But will there be enough? We also are in the middle of a large clump of families that are requesting baby girls. How many baby girls will come into care? Is my daughter in the mix? I am pretty sure there won't be referrals this week as it seems there is often some down time between batches. SO I have pinned my hopes on next week, but I don't want to be too hopeful.

I think the week as a single parent is also taking it's toll. I am ready to share the tasks again...could use a hubby hug, someone else to poop scoop, take out the trash and help move the huge rocks in the garden I am dreaming up. The kids have been great, it's all the other stuff that flows into a day that I need him back for.

B "graduates " from preschool tomorrow. I am not sure in my tender emotional state I will handle that very well. My baby, done with preschool (or as he calls it "Pretty School" ) I can't believe I have to send him off to the big school next year. Yieks. Tears will be a flowin.

So on the upside, we finally seem to have found spring. It is going to be a really nice weekend, so I am planning hard physical labor, lots of flower planting, and a good sunburn to take my mind off things. That and a few glasses of wine and I should make it.

Please keep praying for us, our daughter, and patience. I am trying very hard to trust that God has this all worked out, and it will be more than I ever dreamed...but some days, it's a stretch!

All Hail Ikea!

So after being soo concerned about how the boys were going to do sharing a room, Z came to me (he didn't know I had been fretting about this) and said, "As soon as we get our referral, B and I better move in together. It will give us all summer to figure out how to share." Dang, that kid is a bright one! So we set about with tape measure, scratch paper and wishes in hand and laid out what I think will be a great room! And Ikea is coming to the rescue!!

Zach will get this bed, which will replace the oversized loft he has now.


Then to divide the room and give them both lots of storage for their many treasures...we'll have two of these: and I will put fun fabric in-between to make a "wall". In theory, it should be perfect! Now to just get rid of all the clutter! Good thing there is a whopper of a garage sale in our near future!

It is warm and sunny out today. I am hoping this sunshine is a sign of great things to come! Have a great day one and all!

A New Week...

and hope abounds. E is out of town for the week. We are having mom and kid time (aka DQ for dinner) these weeks when he is gone are hard and easy all at the same time. Easy because sort of anything goes....but hard because I am not cut out to be a single parent! We will all be happy to see dad when he gets home on Saturday.

The referral rumors are flying all over...lots of babies in the care center...more referrals coming...nothing concrete, but rumors that make your heart beat a little faster! I do feel we are so close. There are a about 5 of us who all have the dossier date of 9/5 and we are all requesting baby girls. It will be interesting to see how that plays out. I continue to be optimistic that we will make it thru!

The dilemma I am facing right now has to do with the 2 that will be sharing a room once baby is home. She is set up to be in our room for now...however, she will eventually get the little bedroom that B is in and B and Z will share a room. I would love to know what any of you BTDT mom's recommend. I am thinking about putting the boys together sooner than later...be able to make a big deal of transforming their room, getting the new beds etc. Summer tends to be a little easier for projects. I worry that with transition to school, new sister, etc, changing rooms later might be harder. That said, the flip side is they could have their own room for longer if we waited. But knowing they will eventually share...does it make sense to put off the inevitable....I don't know how long little one will be in our room...not sure what will seem right for her. But we know eventually she will have her own space. So let me know what you think...I am looking for guidance!!

I am off to read a magazine in the sunshine for a bit...happy Monday and keep those prayers coming!

Happy Mother's Day!!

I am sure I won't make it into blog land tomorrow as it is shaping up to be a very full day. However, I wanted to wish the mommies out there a very happy Mother's Day. Whether you have birthed your children, adopted your children or come to mothering through some other way, you are a mom through and through. It is the worlds hardest and most amazing job. I wouldn't trade it for the world. So for all of you out there who answer to the name mom...I raise my glass to you this weekend!

We celebrated a short and sweet Mother's Day this am at my house. E leaves in the am and we have company tonight, so it seemed breakfast was it. As was so eloquently said to me..."we interrupt this regularly scheduled Saturday to bring you Mother's day." I got to eat a yummy butter braid and have my coffee cup frequently re-filled. Z made me a sweet bookmark, B had a cute and funny preschool project, J got me earrings that have an African look about them and Dad got me this
I Love it...you can find it at http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=11410437.
I am wearing it with pride today...along with my earrings. My heart truly is in Africa right now.

After our short programming preemption, it was back the regularly scheduled program of scrubbing toilets and folding laundry...ah yes, a mama's work is never done. But at least I know I am loved!

On the referral front, there was one more reported referral Friday pm. Someone had heard from a friend who was recently at the care center that there were at least 50 babies in care...so this Mother's Day, I pray for all those babies who have lost the mother that gave them life and are waiting for the mama who will nurture them through life; prayers for the mommies who's arms ache to hold their children, and praises to God for bring families together.

Happy Mother's Day

Friday, Friday...

and no more referrals as of yet. However, the word on the street is that they are expecting more referrals soon...and 15 have gone out so far...so that is good news. I was holding out for the ultimate Mother's Day present...but looks like I will have to wait a bit longer. According to Murphy's Law...we'll get the referral next week when E is out of town. Go figure! Hey, as long as we get it, I won't complain!

We are headed into a busy weekend. The kids are in a musical at church. J has the lead and Z has a solo. They are becoming quite the thespians! I work tomorrow and E's side of the fam is coming down for the performances, a belated B birthday, and dinner. Then 2 performances on Sunday and my parents down to celebrate Mother's Day. E leaves in between the two performances. Craziness. So this might be the last post until Monday!