Where is the time going?

Where did my baby go? Who is this little girl who is running around my house, chatting up a storm? How did she grow so much so fast? She truly amazes me, this little one. She has a spirit that just keeps giving, and a smile that can chase the clouds out of the darkest day. I just fall more and more in love!

She has been home almost 4 months and it feels like a lifetime. I can't imagine life without her. When I fall exhausted into bed at night, I marvel at how quiet and boring life was before her. (Okay, maybe not boring, but certainly missing this special little spark). I think she is realizing that this is all for real and that we are her family. I think she is doing some grieving in the wee small hours of the morning. We are getting lots and lots of tears at about 1 am and she wants full body contact, to be swaddled, and rocked and held tight. It was driving me crazy until I figured out that she must be doing her grieving. Now it makes sense and I am more than happy to love her through it.

I ache for her ET family. The days where her smile truly brings tears to my eyes, I ache that they don't know her. I ache that their memory of her is as a malnourished, frightened little baby. I ache that they do not see the sparkle in her eye or hear the music in her giggles. We just finished our 3 month post placement report. We sent pictures and the SW wrote a report. It reminded me of sending her her package, way back when we got her referral. I wanted to send so much love in those pictures and words. To let the staff in ET and hopefully her family know that she is thriving, that she is loved, and that she is happy.

I am blessed, blessed beyond measure...and thank God for this most amazing little gift.