Thoughts at 4 days and counting...

It is fairly early on a Sat am. My house is very quiet as the boys are enjoying a morning of sleeping in. I am a mixed bag of emotions. On the one hand I am soo excited I am giddy. On the other hand, I am nervous, sad, and full of mama worry. I didn't think it would bother me to leave the big boys. They are in great hands and I know they will thrive. And I know once I am on the plane, I will be fine too, but in the mean time, I have a bit of a pit in my tummy. I want to snuggle them just a little more, kiss on them just a little more, enjoy every last moment of our family as it is before things turn upside down and inside out. I feel this huge need to memorize every little bit of them, and imprint it on my brain, so it will carry me across the world and back. I know when we return, we will be changed, they will be changed, and life will have a new normal. So today as I finish the long list of to -do's, extra snuggles will surpass everything else, and hopefully the mama tears can remain tucked inside my eyes!