Monday, March 17, 2008

Guarding My Heart

It's funny. We are getting close to the end of our wait, at least relatively speaking. I keep wanting to let myself go and daydream about the referral call, the flight over, driving through the streets of Addis, the moment we will finally meet our daughter face to face. But I can't. Every time I try, it seems like my mind is blocked. I think I must still be protecting my heart. I like to think things out, plan for a variety of scenarios, plan ahead, scheme, organize, envision...but I just can't. It is a little disconcerting to me. Not sure why I can't just let my mind go and imagine. I can imagine her here...sitting in the highchair while we cook dinner and watch Rachel Ray, waking up in her crib, bathing in the tub...I can see her in my life here, just not this process of getting her here. It makes me curiouser and curiouser!

E thinks we will get our referral this week. I can't imagine that. It seems too far off. But wow what an Easter that would be! Time will tell. I would love for him to be right for once! ;)

I am off to try and imagine....at least maybe that referral phone call!

2 comments:

hotflawedmama said...

I know what you mean!!! Perhaps God gave us a travel date 2 weeks out so that we can stare and stare at your referral pic so I know her sweet face inside and out for when I go there. :)

Erica Jo (mamasweetpea) said...

Oh Tesi...here's hoping!