Sunday, April 6, 2008

She's waiting for me

I have gone back and forth with myself as to whether I wanted to post about this or not. I think this will become (no...already is) an amazing moment in this adoption journey. So since I seem to be sitting here, typing this in, I guess I am going to share...

I haven't been able to imagine my baby. I can imagine her here at home, but I haven't been able to place her in Ethiopia. I have seen enough pictures of the care center and so many beautiful babies that my lack of vision cannot be blamed on a lack of reference points, or ideas to draw from. So anyway, I was sitting in church this morning. I was trying really hard to focus on the story being dramatized about Emmaus and Jesus walking unknown among his followers. The passage described the moment when they knew he was Jesus and then he was gone. So I was trying to focus on this message, the amazement they must have experienced...the burning in their hearts that they felt. But all I could focus on was my daughter. I could see her. Talk about amazement and a burning in your heart. I could see her laying in her bed in the care center, she is dressed in a too big dress with floppy socks. She is cooing and kicking her legs. I had such clarity and such an amazing sense of peace. Peace that she is in care now, peace that she is safe and peace in the knowledge that we will soon know each other. I know she is waiting for me.

Upon returning from church, I putzed around for a bit, picking up, reading the paper..typical Sunday stuff. I quick logged onto the computer to see if there was any e-mail and to see what Tesi had posted to her blog overnight (she is in ET right now, picking up her son). There was an EMAIL, from Tesi. We haven't e-mailed much in the last few weeks...she is in ET with her son and there is limited internet access. Yet there was a note, posted during the night. It read..."I saw your daughter. (I don't know for sure,) but when I saw her, I got this weird feeling like she was yours....and she is exceptional." (can hardly type through the tears and goose bumps right now....) It is just too amazing to me that the same morning I find such peace, Tesi knows she has seen my daughter. God is so good. And I know this is it...she is waiting for me....and we will know each other soon.

4 comments:

Kristina said...

What a wonderful thing-to find peace!! I am praying for your beautiful girl and can't wait to mother our daughters together:) It will be so nice to have a friend for Faith!

Cindy said...

Oh you got me all teary and goose bumpy. I love that you have seen her sweet face. I LOVE that Tesi has seen her sweet face. How old was your baby? I had a feeling about a 4-6 month old in Hossana.....

Erica Jo (mamasweetpea) said...

Tesi didn't say how old this little one was...limited time on the internet. In my mind she is about 4.5-5 months.

Cindy said...

oooohhhhh...I am so excited