Emtional Trainwreck

Okay, so yesterday was sunshine and smiles, optimism and polly-anna thoughts. Today, not so much. Today, I am at a loss, tears brimming just below the surface. I was trying to figure out what is so hard at this moment. As I dropped B off preschool, the talk among the mommies was all about another mom who's delivery is imminent. As her belly has blossomed, everyone has oohed and ahhed over the coming arrival. Granted it is hard to miss a basketball of a belly, and the day to day-ness of her pregnancy is right out there for the world to see. But I want someone to ask me how I am doing....to acknowledge that I am expecting too, my baby is no less important or wonderful or miraculous...you just can't SEE that she is on her way. I have carried three babies, and delivered three babies, and although this "pregnancy" is certainly not having the same physical effects, the emotions are right there...maybe even more so as I grow this child in my heart. I want to celebrate all that is to come...I want to blabber on and on about how I am feeling, what is happening, how excited I am, how scared I am, how joyous I am....I just want people to remember that although I don't have a basketball belly, I am just as immersed in waiting, and growing, and longing for this child to arrive. It's time.