Rain, Rain Go Away

I wish I could take all the rain we have been getting the last few days and send it to Ethiopia. They need it....I don't. If only it was that easy. The big rush of referrals we were hoping for this week didn't materialize. There were 2 referrals, but one for someone with a later submission date than us, and one waiting for a boy. So neither of these move us up the list. I am trying so hard to be positive. Today it just isn't in me. I had a secret hope that today would be our day. I have thought that all week. Today was going to be the day that surpassed all expectations. I guess my gut was a little off. I can't really explain how I went from twitterpated anticipation earlier in the week to complete duldroms by today. I think it has to do with the uncertainty. The fact that no one can tell me for certain that I will know my daughter before the cut off date of June 15, and the fact that amidst the ambiguity, we are being encouraged to prepare for the worst case scenario. I cannot imagine what I will do if I have to wait until Christmas to hold this child of my heart. I know she is waiting. I need her. She needs me. It is kind of like being pregnant and going to your monthly appointment each month and being told that it looks like your due date is off by a month or two or three and it could be off by as much as 6 months. You are still pregnant, but that due date is now several additional trimesters down the road. Ugh. I also know that I am completely depressed by our lack of spring. It's April already...where's the sun??? I will take tomorrow off...going to try and stay off the computer all day tomorrow...so check back in on Sunday...and cross your fingers that Debbie Downer is out of the room so Polly Anna can post a more positive view!