Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Unexpected

Things have taken a turn again. We were notified today that our little sunshine is having seizures and is now on meds to control them. That is all we know. I cannot begin to tell you the range of emotions that have coursed through my soul today. At the initial call, I was all business, my nursing brain kicking in, wanting details that no one knows. This is my child. No, I haven't touched her face, or heard her coo, felt her heartbeat, or seen her smile, but she is my child, and she is a world away and something is not right. The information we have is in three short sentences. There is nothing to read between the lines, just a vast unknown full of questions and concerns. My heart aches. If I could hop a plane today, I would be there. I would camp outside the Care Center and wait. But that isn't how this process works. I have been able to talk to our MD who together with me came up with a list of questions to get more info. We can contact the MD in ET through the agency and hopefully get more information in the next few days. E is out of town, as is my good friend with the best shoulder, so I have been crying to the dogs and painting a mural of Africa on my daughters wall with tears running down my cheeks. My adoption sisters have rallied and called and talked through it all and i know that God is being bombarded with prayers for princess sweet pea, and knowing all of that helps some. But not enough. My baby is on the other side of the world, and I can't help her. So please continue to pray. Pray that we are able to get more information, pray that the medication is doing the job and that there isn't something else underlying that we don't know about. Pray that those caring for her continue to surround her with love and healing. God's hands are all over this journey, and I have to believe that at this point, he has her families right up there next to his heart, and will see this through. I have to have that faith. Mommy loves you princess sweetpea.

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