A Walk to Beautiful

E and I watched the Nova version of this documentary two nights ago. Wow...talk about powerful. I knew from several friends that it was not an easy movie to watch, but that it was also wonderful. The story is about 3 women who are dealing with obstetric fistula. One of them is only 17, and had already been married off and given birth, and in the process, suffers a fistula that ostracized her from her family and community. The story follows these women as they journey to healing at the fistula hospital in Addis.

The movie left me with so many mixed emotions. Seeing the beauty of the country, listening to the rolling lilt of Amharic, and being awe struck at the beauty of the women, my appetite to travel to this amazing country was heightened. It also made me ache for all my daughter will lose. She will lose her culture, her family, and the beauty of her land. But she will be given an easier (physically) life, more opportunity than she would have ever known in her own country, and she will be given life, for I am quite certain that were an adoption plan not made for her by someone who loved her more than anything, she would not be alive. But the loses she has already faced and will continue to face, pain me to my core. Of course we will plan to surround her with as much of her birth culture as we can, and I have no doubt we will return to Ethiopia in the future, but all of our efforts will not be enough I am afraid.

At the beginning of this adoption journey, I don't think I really understood that much about how I would come to love Ethiopia, and the losses my child would endure. Now that she has a face and a history, I am more committed than ever to include the fabric and the culture that is Ethiopia in our everyday lives.

When the movie was over, E and I both said, "makes you want to just pack up and go there...make a difference, to live amidst that amazing human spirit. " I think the seeds are being planted, I am sure at some point this will become reality. One of those Ah, Ha moments, when much of what you have done in your life, comes together and there is a glimpse of what God may have instore.

So this was rather rambling, but they are thoughts I needed to capture for myself. For those that are reading along who may have just started this journey, promise you will leave your heart open...open to the pain, the joy, and the hope and the despair of this process. If you can stay open, you will be filled, changed, pained, stretched, and most importantly grown in ways you never imagined.