Warp Speed

Time feels like it is going at warp speed, and yet not quick enough. I am amazed that we only have 1 week and 4 days left before travel. Yet I am equally amazed that we are still waiting.

I am finding myself in an interesting place. I still can't let go and imagine all the moments that lie ahead. I can visualize saying goodbye to the kids (and crying), waking up at my in laws and getting ready for a full 24 hrs of traveling. I can imagine the plane ride, meeting John and Melanie at the airport, hanging out in Dulles, pacing the narrow walkways on the airplane, high above the ocean below. I can even imagine landing in Africa, the smell, the unfamiliarity. I can imagine getting to the guest house and settling in to our home away from home, unpacking and making it feel like home. I can imagine not sleeping, although fatigue will plague me...and this is where it ends.

For the many years I taught childbirth, I always encouraged my couples to imagine themselves in labor, what they were doing, how they were coping. It helped with the uncertain-ness of all that was to come. I think that is what I am trying to do, but I just can't. I get to that point and I just freeze. Am I really still protecting my heart? Is it just such an overwhelming experience that I can't go there yet? I don't know...I am hoping as each day gets closer, I can imagine more, and try and prepare myself, even just a tiny bit, for all that is to come!